Total Plot Inertia

One of my favorite pastimes is reading hilarious reviews of bad products, and one of the best I’ve come across in a long time is this review of the tenth book in Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series. This is especially classic:

Part of what really makes Mr. Jordan’s worlds so unique are the wonderful characters which populate them. I like nothing more than to scratch my head in befuddlement as yet another Aes Sedai is reintroduced into the plot whom I can no longer recall. It gives me an excuse to page to the back of the book and open up the ‘Robert Jordan Appendix of Useless and Irrelevant Characters’ which is always such a joy. I’ve created my own drinking game based on this called, […]
For anyone who wants to play along the rules are simple:

1.) Is the character you’re looking up totally irrelevant? Take a drink.
2.) Do you have reason to suspect said character will remain totally irrelevant? Take a drink.
3.) Does the character twitch her shawl? Take two drinks.
4.) Is she looking “cross-eyed” at someone? Take a drink.
5.) Do you know the exact design of the embroidery on the fringe of her shawl? Of course you do – take a drink. For your own sanity, consider taking another.